Tuesday Talk: Infertility Update

Hi everyone! It's been a while since I've updated on our fertility situation, so I figured now, at the new year, would be a great time to do so.

I'm joining the Tuesday Talk Link-UP with Ashley and Erika, so I'll do a quick update for anyone new: 

My husband, Lee, and I married in 2012, and started trying to have children in December 2013. We planned an awesome trip to Europe (Rome, Venice, Munich, Berlin, and Paris), and assumed it'd be our last big trip as a family of 2). We quickly realized that wasn't the case. 

This is us in Rome on Christmas Eve 2013

I'll skip forward to January 2015 when we did our first IUI. It was not successful, and we went on to do 5 more between February and June. 6 total IUIs, and they all failed. We were feeling exhausted and defeated after those 6 months and decided we needed a break. 

Throughout the rest of that year, we did some natural family planning, and took a break from fertility treatments for over a year. During this time I started the MBA program at our alma mater, the University of Southern Indiana. We went back to our fertility doctor in the fall of 2016 and began planning for IVF. I graduated with my Master's Degree in December 2016. We had our egg retrieval in January 2017, and on Valentine's Day, we had our embryo transfer. 

Here's us on Valentine's Day, the day of our embryo transfer

THE IVF WAS SUCCESSFUL, and we welcomed our sweet baby boy, William (Liam) Andrew, on October 6. He has been a JOY to our lives, and we love being his parents. 

I was so lucky to have a pleasant pregnancy. I loved being pregnant! 

This little cutie is our favorite.

Now that he is 15 months old, we know without a doubt that we want more children. So for now, we are trying on our own, using some of the natural family planning methods we learned before. We're not being super structured with it, though. I'm being aware of signs of ovulation, and we're being intentional with our timing, but I'm not keeping any kind of chart. Just keeping track of when my cycles end and begin. 

We love being his parents 

We don't want all of the stress and daily pressure that we put on ourselves in the past. After earning my MBA, I was fortunate to be given an opportunity to be a full-time business professor at our local community college, which has been a great transition for our family. I have a much more flexible schedule, and get to spend all of my Fridays, school breaks, and summers off work with Liam.  That being said, we've decided if we don't get pregnant on our own, we'll call our fertility doctor over the summer. If we're going to do IVF again, we might as well use time to our advantage. If we go that route, we'll try to do IVF in August or September, so that if successful, the baby would be born early summer, allowing me a 'maternity leave' without actually having to take time off of work. 

We thank God every single day for giving us Liam. Being a family of 3 is so much fun. 

So we are spending our time enjoying our sweet boy, and pray that God provide us with peace and guidance with growing our family. 

IVF Round 1: Results

Well... As you all know, we had our embryo transfer last month. What many of you don't know, is that our transfer was done on Valentine's Day, the day of love... How perfect is that? Brace yourselves for a really long blog post, but if you can make it to the end, I think you will enjoy this one.

 I'm just going to jump right in and share, because I know our faithful blog readers are dying to know: After 3 years of trying to conceive, 7 rounds of fertility treatments, more hormones than Lee ever imagined he could tolerate, lots and lots of tears, and even more prayer.... I. AM. PREGNANT!!

Can you believe it?! Being able to finally type those words is incredible. I have never been more overcome with emotion than the day I finally got to see the word 'pregnant' on a test, and share that moment with my husband. Getting to this point has been a long road for Lee and I, and we are so thankful to be able to experience pregnancy and parenthood together.

I am still very early in my pregnancy. At 9 weeks along, Lee and I realize that anything can happen at anytime, but we want to embrace and enjoy every moment that we can of this pregnancy... even the ones that involve exhaustion and nausea! We debated to wait until later in the pregnancy to share our news, but we decided that it only makes sense to share our good news. We know that many of you have been praying for us throughout this process... some of you have been praying for 2+ YEARS with us, and we are so appreciative. We knew that you would want to celebrate our good news with us as well. So for now, I am enjoying pregnancy and praying daily for continued health of both myself and the baby. We have had 3 ultrasounds so far, and all 3 confirm that there is just one baby, and he/she has a strong heartbeat! The heartbeat continues to rise with each appointment, and the baby's growth is measuring on par. We haven't gotten to hear the heartbeat yet, but we've been able to see that little flicker on the ultrasound screen.

As we celebrate our pregnancy, and all that is to come, I think it is most important that we celebrate how BIG and how GOOD our God is! We are very thankful for our doctor, nurses, and modern technology, but we are most thankful for our Lord. We know that only He can create life, and we are so happy that our prayers (and yours) have been answered. God has provided for us in a way that only He can do, and we owe him all the glory and praise.

THANK YOU for everyone who has read our blog, prayed for us, sent us words of encouragement, etc. To say that you are appreciated would be a huge understatement. Most of my family lives out of town, and initially I created this blog as a way to keep my family updated on our fertility treatments. Especially during my times of sorrow, it became difficult to share the same stories over and over again. Posting updates here where I could explain once and be done with it was a huge relief for me... It was also a great outlet. I never dreamed that Lee and I would receive so much support not only from close family and friends, but from extended family, high school friends, acquaintances, and even strangers through this blog. I know many of you have become faithful followers often watching for updates posted on social media, and know that I enjoy hearing from you as much as you have enjoyed following along. Your support has been a huge blessing to Lee and I.

For any of my friends reading who are still waiting for your miracle, please know that you are not alone! I wish I could say that doing X, Y, or Z is the perfect solution for healing, or the best way to cope, but I just can't. I know that every situation is different, and there's no magic involved here. What I can say is to cling tightly to your faith, and remember God's promises to us. He promises to give us hope, to bless us in  abundance, and to provide for us. If you are struggling with infertility and are feeling lost, frustrated, defeated, or anything else, please reach out to me. I want you to know that even if you are private with your struggle, you are not alone, and most  importantly, there is hope. We serve a God who redeems, and sometimes its nice to be reminded of that.

Below are a few baby bump and other pics we have snapped along the way. Our due date for Baby Fehrenbacher is November 2, 2017.We are so thankful for your continued prayers for a healthy baby and healthy pregnancy. I'm going to try to keep blogging about our pregnancy each month, so stay tuned for more details!


The first two photos were taken during the IVF process. One the morning of our egg retrieval, and the second was taking right before our embryo transfer.

This was taken super early the morning of our egg retrieval. 

We snapped thus pic right before our embryo transfer. 

We totally spaced on weeks 4 and 5, but here I am at 6 weeks along.

7 weeks along! 

Here I am last week at 8 weeks pregnant. 

IVF Round 1: Embryo Transfer

Hi everyone! With my last blog post, I briefly told you all about the egg retrieval, and what was to come next: embryo transfer. This month's cycle has been pretty pleasant overall. Towards the end of my last cycle, I had a phone appointment with my doctor to touch base on how he thought the egg retrieval went, and what our action plan should be going forward. Overall, my doctor thought the egg retrieval went well, and we decided we'd move forward with transferring the embryos this month. I did a several rounds of blood work, ultrasounds, medication, etc. to prepare for the transfer. All of the medicines I took this month have been taken at some point before, either last month during the egg retrieval, or during our IUIs. So thankfully, nothing was a surprise this time, and we knew what to expect with each and every medication.

The embryo transfer was much easier than the 6 IUI procedures we had in 2015. I thought that the IUIs were painful. The embryo transfer wasn't painful, just a little uncomfortable. While the doctor and embryologist are transferring the embryos, the nurse does an ultrasound so they can see exactly where in my uterus the embryos are going. I needed to have a full bladder so they could get a good view during the ultrasound, so this made things uncomfortable, but otherwise, the procedure was quick and painless.

I had an acupuncture session both before and after the transfer. This is my first experience with acupuncture, but I thought it was interesting, and relaxing. The goal of acupuncture the day of the retrieval to help increase blood flow to the uterus. This is supposed to give a stronger chance of the embryos implanting. Whether it did or not, I don't know, but I really enjoyed the relaxation, so I'd say it was a good choice.

By the time we got home the afternoon of the transfer, I didn't feel too well. I was tired, and had some light cramping. A few days before the transfer I began progesterone, which is a hormone medication that is supposed to help the lining of the uterus stay thick and prepare for pregnancy. I've used this medicine before in various forms, and it has always made me very sleepy. Usually I've taken it at night to hopefully sleep through most of the emotional side effects, and I've noticed I sleep very deeply when I take it. After the transfer, the nurse suggested I take it in the morning rather than at night, so I took it right when I got home from the transfer, and I felt pretty tired the rest of the evening. This is a medicine I will continue if I get pregnant, probably until I am 10-12 weeks along.

Once the embryos are transferred, we wait 9 days and then I can have blood work done to see if I am pregnant. We are currently in our waiting period, and are both nervous and excited to get our results, but are also trying to stay busy so we aren't thinking about it constantly. When people ask how we are feeling, I say cautiously excited... Truthfully, we are so super excited to know that we could spend most of 2017 planning for a family, but at the same time, we know how disappointing it can be to be so hopeful and get negative results, so we are cautiously excited.

Once we have our pregnancy test results, we will take some time and tell our family and close friends, and then I will write a blog post a few weeks later to let you all know! Lee and I have been praying for implantation of our embryos and a healthy pregnancy. We are also praying that God give us peace with the results, no matter what they are. We are praying that He help us to stay distracted during our wait and that he take away our fear, stress, and worry. At this point, we are really close to the end of our wait, so if you are praying for us, we would love for you to pray that we have peace with the results, and for a healthy baby and pregnancy if the results are positive. I am really hoping that soon I can write that one blog post we've all been waiting for!!

IVF Round 1: Egg Retrieval

1st we stimulated my ovaries with medicine to try to get a ton of mature follicles... Next I had an injection to cause ovulation... Then the doctor retrieves the eggs. The egg retrieval was quite the process, and I'm not going to go into all the details. I'll just let you know that I survived and it was successful! After my eggs are retrieved, they are combined with Lee's sperm and watched over the next 5 days as they grow into embryos.

Our doctor told us the day of the retrieval that with my last round of blood work, one of my hormone levels (progesterone) was elevated. Because of that, he would prefer to freeze the embryos, and transfer them later, once my hormones have leveled out. This way, we have the best possible chances to achieve pregnancy. The thing is, we didn't know at that time how many eggs fertilized, how well they would grow, etc., so we made a tentative plan: If they embryos appear to be strong enough to survive a freeze and thaw, then we will want to transfer them during a later cycle. If they do not appear strong enough to survive a freeze, we will go ahead and transfer them with this cycle and pray for great results. 

Fortunately, we got great news that our embryos appear to be strong. So, they are now frozen. Our plan is for me to start some medication with my next cycle to prepare for the transfer. This time around, the medication will hopefully be much lighter than all of the injections we did prior to the egg retrieval. We will get more info about our next steps in the process sometime next week, so I'll include all of that in my February blog post. My plan is to write a blog post in February letting you all know how the medication went with the next cycle, and how the transfer was, and hopefully in March I will give you all an update on the results of our embryo transfer. 

Please be praying in the meantime that our embryos are healthy and survive the freeze and thaw, that they implant, and that we are able to achieve pregnancy. 

I think that now is a prefect time for me to remind myself, and share with you all, that regardless of the outcome of this procedure, God is good. Everyday, all the time, He is good. It's easy to praise God when things go our way, and we get what we want, but its also important that when we don't get what we want, to still praise God. God has a plan for us. He already knows the outcome of this procedure. He knows when our children will be born, and how our family will come to be. He has the perfect timing, and we must trust Him. I often have to remind myself of this, because its easy for me to get wrapped up in my own plan, and my own idea of how I think things should play out. So now, we are praising God for all of the good that he is done, and we know that the results of this IVF cycle will be good whether we achieve pregnancy or not, because it is all part of His plan. 

IVF Round 1: Stimulation

IVF Round 1....This has been a post I have started and saved in my drafts for several months. We are finally here. If you've been reading along for the past year or so, then you know this is something that Lee and I have gone back and forth with. After 6 IUIs, we knew we needed a break from fertility treatments, and during that break we tried Natural Family Planning, various supplements, etc. Although we did notice some positive differences with those options, we did not get pregnant as hoped. December 2016 marked 3 years since we started trying to get pregnant. After all this time, we still remain unswayed in the fact that we want to have children. We desperately want to have a family of our own.We have spent a lot of time deciding whether not IVF was right for us, and finally came to a conclusion that we want to move forward with this treatment.

One of the things I was not looking forward to with IVF was taking birth control in order to get my timing for the next cycle just right. Thankfully, I only had to take the pill for about 9 days. After those 9 days, I stopped the pill, and a few days later went in for my baseline blood work and ultrasound.

Thankfully, my ultrasound and blood work both were normal this time (as opposed to when we tried to get this process started in October. You can read more about that here). We got the green light to start the injections, which have been patiently waiting in our fridge for over 3 months.

We started out with 2 injections, which Lee gave me nightly for 6 nights. During those 6 days I had blood work done twice and an ultrasound to monitor my response to the medication. My body responded very well, and on day 7 we added in the 3rd injection. Lee gave me the 3 injections for another 3 nights, and I had an ultrasound and blood work during that time. After 10 total days of medication, I was ready for the trigger shot. The trigger shot is an injection that forces my body to ovulate. Once the trigger shot is given, my body prepares for ovulation, and the egg retrieval is done about 36 hours later.

So now, we await the egg retrieval. This is a procedure in which the doctor will retrieve all of the eggs that my body has matured with the help of medication over the last 12 or so days. After my eggs are retrieved, they will be combined with Lee's sperm in a lab and will grow for several days into embryos.

Once the embryos are ready, I will have another procedure done to transfer the embryos into my uterus. Our doctor will transfer a safe amount of embryos, and any left over will be frozen for future transfers.

Lee and I are feeling pretty good about this process so far, and are looking forward to completing it. This round of fertility treatments has been more uncomfortable physically than the others because my ovaries are super stimulated. I will take that any day though, because emotionally, it has been fairly smooth.. I've had a few cries here and there (mostly over something irrelevant like a sad part in Gilmore Girls, haha), and 1 rough night after the trigger shot. Overall,I have not felt the intense impatience, frustration, hot flashes, mood swings, etc. that I did during our IUI cycles. Lee and I both are so thankful for that.

So overall, this cycle so far has been pleasant, and I'm excited to finish it up. If you are praying for us, our prayer requests right now are that the egg retrieval be quick and painless, and that we have strong embryo growth. I will hopefully be able to write another blog post between the egg retrieval and embryo transfer, and give you all an update! Thanks for reading, and as always, thank you for your love and support.

Infertility Update: December 2016

Ahh! December.... How can it be the end of December already? This year has flown by. I must say that 2016 has been so much more pleasant than 2015. Although we did some great things in 2015, the year was very much over shadowed by 6 failed fertility treatments, medications, a new doctor, a whole lot of waiting and disappointment, and one giant emotional roller coaster. Last year I remember being SO READY to say goodbye to 2015 and start over with 2016.

While 2016 has not brought us a baby, it has been much more smooth as far as this whole infertility fiasco goes. We really felt like we got comfortable with Natural Family Planning, and although we did not get pregnant using this method, we are happy with all that we've learned, and are going to hopefully save all of this knowledge for future use. We also went back to our RE (reproductive endocrinologist) and made plans for IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). More on that later...

In other news, I FINISHED MY MASTER'S DEGREE!! AHHH! This is a HUGE weight lifted off of my shoulders. While I am so thankful for the opportunity to continue my education, and the MBA has been a great distraction these past 2 years, I am SO thrilled to be done. No more spending long sundays writing papers and working on projects. No more late week nights in the library, and large amounts of coffee just to make it through my work day. I am so excited to have finished.

So now that I'm no longer studying, what will I be doing with my time? So far I've spent the last 2 weeks celebrating my graduation and Christmas with my friends and family. I have really been avoiding blogging the past 6 weeks or so. It's been nice to just put infertility out of my mind for a bit. Over Thanksgiving, Lee and I took a trip to Spain. Initially we planned this trip for two reasons: 1. As a way to celebrate me finishing my MBA 2. As a way to either mourn a loss from IVF or embrace our last big vacation as a family of 2. We started planning this trip over the summer and we had intentions of trying IVF in October if we had not gotten pregnant naturally by then. As you know, due to a cyst and some timing issues, we did not do IVF in October. We didn't have enough time to do IVF before we left for our trip in November, so it was kind of a bummer knowing that after our trip we were still coming home to infertility, but nonetheless, we had an incredible time in Spain! It was a great mix of both relaxation and adventure, and I am so thankful that Lee and I have been able to travel together. I realize that if our timing with children were different that we would likely not have these memories together, so I do try to see the bright side and be greatful for all of the things Lee  and I have had the opportunity to do and experience together.

We got word in November that the cyst I had went away on its own (hooray!), and we were okay to move forward with IVF. Around the time we found that out, we were less than two weeks away from heading to Spain, so we did not have enough time to get anything started in November. We could've started a December cycle right when we got home, but we decided that since I only  had 2 weeks left to study hard and do well academically during my last semester of graduate school, that added stress of medication, all of the hormones, doctor appointments, etc. may not be the best recipe for success. I'd come this far and really wanted to be sure I could finish strong in my class and wanted to guarantee that I graduate, so we decided December was not our month for IVF either. So now, we are hoping January can be our month!

Our plan is to have an ultrasound and blood work done with the start of the next cycle, and as long as I have no issues with either of those (such as a cyst on my ovaries, etc.), we should be able to get started with the IVF medication.

Overall, I am so thankful for the gifts 2016 has given us. Although we did not see much change with our baby situation, we feel like we still made progress this year. I used the time to finish my graduate degree, and Lee was busy with both work and social commitments, and he was also able  to finish a few projects around the house. We got to see several great friends and close family members get married, we took an incredible trip to Spain, and several weekend get-aways with the people we love the most. Most importantly, I feel that through life's ups and downs, my relationship with Christ is stronger than ever, and I have no doubt that He has big plans for us in 2017. We now feel accomplished, rested, and ready to take on the new year head first. First goal: complete IVF! If you are praying for us, our main request at this time is simply  peace. Peace with the IVF process, medication, and results. I'm still praying for my friends and family who are having the health issues I mentioned in my last blog post. If I can be praying for you as well, please let me know! As always, thanks for reading and thank you so much for your love and support. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Infertility Update: November 2016

Hi friends! This blog post will be short and sweet. As you can see, the title of this blog post is NOT, "IVF Round 1"... and that is because we did not get to start our 1st round of In Vitro Fertilization last month.

My cycle day 1 fell on a Sunday, so I called the doctor's office 1st thing Monday morning. The nurse told me to come in the next day for a baseline ultrasound and blood work. If all went well, we would start the medications later that evening after the appointment. The blood work came back normal, but during the ultrasound, the nurse saw a large cyst on my left ovary. She said the doctor would take a look at my results and she would call me that afternoon. When she called, she said the doctor did not feel comfortable stimulating my ovaries with the medication while having that size of a cyst on my ovary. Although we weren't given the green light to start medication, the doctor wasn't worried about the cyst, and thought it will likely go away on its own.

So our next  options were 1. I could take birth control for 2 weeks and then come back in for another ultrasound to see if the cyst has gone away or at least gotten smaller, and if so, start the stimulation medication then. 2. Wait until next month and call back on cycle day 1 again.

Lee and I talked it over and decided we would wait. After trying to get pregnant for almost 3 years, we just thought it seemed kind of backwards to take the birth control pill. Also, I have been praying a lot lately for guidance, and couldn't help but wonder if this is the guidance I've prayed for.

Of course we were disappointed to not be able to move forward this month, but at the same time, we are thankful our doctor is putting my overall health first, and waiting for the optimal time to start this process.

So our next step is to call the doctor's office on cycle day 1 and I will go in for another baseline appointment to check on the cyst. If the cyst is small enough, or gone, we can start the medication to stimulate my ovaries. If not, we will talk with the doctor about our next options. We have some traveling planned that could interfere with completing IVF this month, so we just have to wait and see when my cycle starts and how that matches up with both our schedule and our doctor's schedule.

Because our doctor has to be available during the egg retrieval and embryo transfers for IVF (as opposed to the nurses being able to do the IUI procedures), he tries to have many of his IVF patients on a similar schedule so he is doing all of his retrievals and transfers within a week or so of the others. So because of that, I may end up needing to take some type of birth control in the future to make sure my cycle can match up to the doctor's timing, but we'll cross that bridge when/if we get there. For now, we are just hanging tight for my next cycle. When that time comes, I will share with you all our plans to move forward.

Hopefully my next update will be more exciting. I don't really have any major prayer requests right now. As I proofread this post, I scroll through Facebook and see updates from friends: major kidney issues, allergies, babies born early, kiddos being diagnosed with juvenile arthritis, pneumonia, etc. So in the light of all that, I'm feeling thankful for my overall health even if my reproductive health stinks. Let's direct our prayers towards healing, patience, and guidance for all of our friends, family, and especially kiddos struggling with health issues.

Infertility Update: October 2016

Hi friends! I didn't have much info to share between June and September, but now that we've gotten things rolling with the IVF process, I have lots to share with you. If you want to read my last update, you can take a look here.

In late August, Lee and I met with our Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) aka our fertility doctor, and let him know we were interested in moving forward with fertility treatments again. He thought IVF would be our next step, but wanted to do some testing to make sure nothing had changed since we last saw him in June 2015. He wanted to start by testing some hormones and my Vitamin D level. I also wanted to do some testing for a gluten intolerance (Celiac Disease), and he obliged. In addition to the blood work, he did an ultrasound and a biopsy.

The blood work showed that I have low Vitamin D. Most people have low Vitamin D, so this is a common thing. Mine wasn't dangerously low or anything, so he just suggested that I start that Vitamin D supplement again since I have been slacking on taking it over the summer. The blood work also showed that I do not appear to be allergic to gluten, and the hormone he tested measured normal.

The ultrasound that I had was different than any of the ultrasounds I've had before. It was an SIS, which is short for Saline Infusion Sonography. Basically they put saline in the uterus and do an ultrasound to take a look at the uterus and ovaries. This ultrasound caused a lot of cramping because of the saline, but other than that, not too horrible. The doctor was able to tell me during ultrasound that everything looked normal, so we knew already knew the ultrasound was fine going into the appointment.

The biopsy, on the other hand, was not as much of a breeze. The only good thing I can say about it was that it was quick. I had a lot of cramping during the biopsy, and once we were done, the doctor said that he wasn't able to get enough tissue, so he wouldn't be able to send it off to have lab work done. He said sometimes doing the SIS first can make getting tissue right afterwards difficult. There are two reasons we did the biopsy: 1. so we can test for endometritus in my uterus, (which is apparently different from endometriosis), and can be treated with antiobiotics. 2. After tissue is cut out for a biopsy, the uterus has to heal itself, and implantation of the embryo into the uterus can sometimes be higher in months after this healing happens.... so although he wouldn't be able to send the tissue off to the lab, the healing process would still happen, and our doctor was happy with that. He said it was totally up to me if he took another biopsy to send in. Although the 1st biopsy was painful, I decided that I was already there and already cramping and what not, so let's just do it and get it over with. That way we are going into our IVF cycle knowing that we've covered all of the bases that we can, and we don't know of anything that could interfere. So I actually had 2 biopsies taken that day, and I cried like a baby! So to all you women who have experienced pregnancy and child birth... I don't know how you do it!! The biopsy alone was enough to make me lay around and be whiny for the rest of the day. The good news is that the biopsy came back benign, so all is well there.

So other than Vitamin D, everything came back normal. Now I am diligently taking a daily Vitamin D supplement as well as the Vitamin B6 that my NFP doctor recommended, and a daily prenatal vitamin.

Our plan is that with my next menstrual cycle, I will start the injections on day 2, and on day 5 of my cycle I will go to the doctor's office for an ultrasound (a regular ultrasound this time, no saline), and blood work. I will do this for several days, add or decrease medication as needed, depending how my body responds. Once my body appears to have several mature follicles, we will do the trigger shot, which is an injection to trigger my ovaries to release eggs from these follicles, and then the doctor will retrieve all of these eggs. The eggs will then be matched up with Lee's sperm, grow for a few days to become embryos, and the embryos will then be transferred back to my uterus. We hope that they will then implant and I will be pregnant!

So that's a summary of our testing results and what will happen going forward. I will probably update you guys on each next step of the process as I can. If you are going to pray for us, please pray that my body respond well to the medication, and that other side effects (such as hot flashes, emotional ups and downs, etc.) are minimal. Thank you for all of your love, prayers, and support, especially from those of you who have been there for us over the last almost 3 years. I was, and sometimes still am, nervous about sharing all of this and being vulnerable, especially online, about such a sensitive topic. I am so appreciative of those of you who have encouraged Lee and I, and I'm grateful for everyone who keeps reading. Some of you have been reading for almost 2 years now, and I can't tell you enough how much it means to me that you've not given up on us! Your hope reminds me to be hopeful on days when I feel like this is a lost cause. I can't wait for the day when I can post a photo or an update about our family of 3 (or more)! I told Lee the other night in the midst of a crying moment that I love our family of 2. I am so thankful for all of the great things we have going on in our lives and for all of the wonderful people we've been surrounded by. Despite all of that, I am so ready for our family to grow, and over the past 3 years, that yearning hasn't faded at all. In fact, it's gotten stronger. That can make this process a sad, frustrating, and draining one. I just can't thank you all enough for your support during those sad, frustrating, and draining times. I'm so glad to have you all, and most importantly I'm so thankful to know a God who loves, heals, forgives, and restores. He has really given us all of the resources we need to show infertility who is boss!

Infertility Update: September 2016

Hi everyone! I know, I know... Long time, no blog. When I wrote my last post back in June, I had all intentions of writing a few other posts this summer, but time just got away from me! This summer was lots of fun, but busy! Two of my favorite ladies got married this summer: my best friend from high school, and my cousin. I got to be Matron of Honor in both weddings. Did I tell you that the weddings were two weeks apart? So I spent a chunk of my summer doing a whole lot of brides-maiding. Everyone knows that I love planning parties, meals, favors, etc. so while this kept me super busy, it was also really fun for me.

In addition to bridesmaiding, I finished up a summer class, we were guests at a couple of other weddings, took a long weekend trip to Hilton Head Island, and did a little boating with family and friends. So all in all, Lee and I have been busy, but we've had a really great summer together. I'm feeling extra thankful for all of the time we've gotten to spend with our friends and family. I do still have plans for a few other advice-focused blog posts, but I'll put those on the back burner for now, so I can update you all with what's going on.

Throughout this summer, we continued tracking my cycles using a method of Natural Family Planning, called the Creighton Model. I won't go into detail with that process, but if you want to read more about it, check out my blog post from earlier this summer. We gave this method a fair try, and although we learned a lot from it, we have not yet gotten pregnant using it. Our NFP doctor, who has now also become our family doctor suggested that we move forward. He offered to refer us to a more specialized NFP doctor in St. Louis, but we opted to go back to our Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE), aka our fertility doctor.

So, we made an appointment and met with our RE. He thought we needed to start with some testing, just to make sure nothing has changed since we last saw him. The tests we decided on were blood work to test hormone levels, vitamin levels, and a test for Celiac Disease. My doctor actually does not think I have Celiac Disease at all, but I really wanted this test done, so he obliged. A lot of people are now finding out that they are gluten intolerant, and I know a large majority of gluten allergies are still undiagnosed. I wanted to do some blood work to see if it is a possibility. Apparently blood work is just the beginning with that kind of testing, but it can be a good initial indicator. In addition to blood work, our doctor recommended an ultrasound and a biopsy.

So we got all of that scheduled, and actually I've done all of that testing at this point, but I'll save that whole experience for another post when I can tell you about the testing and the results all at once.

As long as the testing comes back okay, our RE recommends that we proceed with In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Last year we did 6 IUIs with a plethora of medication, and none of them resulted in pregnancy. He really didn't think another IUI would be beneficial, and we agree.  So our plan is once we get the test results back, as long as everything appears to be ok to move forward, we could start an IVF cycle as early as with the start of my next menstrual cycle.

This has been a whirlwind for me. The day we had the appointment with our RE to tell him we were ready to try fertility treatments again, I pulled up to the office, and I just cried... In June of 2015 when we completed our 6th IUI, I never dreamed that 15 months later we would be coming back to this doctor with the same circumstances.

For those of you who have been following our blog for a while now, you already know that I have really struggled with whether or not IVF was the right choice for us. We had initially planned to do it last October once we got back from Mexico, but we just didn't feel called to take that step yet... and truthfully, I really wasn't 100% confident when we met with our fertility doctor again at the end of August.

For about a week after the appointment, I cried pretty much every day.... Is this the right choice for us? Are we sure we want to make this type of investment? Should we be seeking an adoption instead? Is this what God wants for us? Is this something that can bring God glory? So many thoughts running through my mind. So many decisions to make, too.

There are a lot of decisions to be made when agreeing to IVF, and depending on the outcome, we could be bound to IVF in the future as well. IVF is basically where I will take several different types of medication to prompt my ovaries to develop several mature eggs, then I will be put asleep and the doctor will retrieve those eggs. Me eggs will be combined with Lee's sperm in a lab, and will grow for a handful of days to become embryos. Then the embryos will be transferred back to my uterus in hopes of implanting and me becoming pregnant.

So if we have, for example, 5 embryos from our next cycle, we could choose to transfer 1 or 2 of them back into my uterus, and the remaining embryos would be frozen for future use. Obviously, if we only have 1 or 2 embryos that survive the 5ish day growth period, then we may not have any to use for future cycles... it all depends how things go with this first round, but even if we somehow get a miracle and are able to conceive on our own in the future, or decide to adopt and are blessed with a child that way, we still have these frozen embryos to use... so there are a lot of scenarios for us to think about and decide on.

With so many decisions on my mind, I was really struggling. In addition to all of the decisions for Lee and I to make, I was also stressing already about the medication. Last year when we did our IUIs, I really had a hard time. Infertility is tough on its own. Add in a ton of hormones, and it can be a hot mess. I just remember feeling so down and defeated after each failed IUI, and super stressed, anxious, and impatient at times, from the medication. I began to think of all of that and wonder if I'm ready for that emotional roller coaster again, and am I willing to accept the results if we try IVF and it fails.  I prayed about it a lot. When the time came for me to go in for my testing, that was a rough day physically, but I left feeling good about the talk I'd had with my doctor, and felt confident and excited to move forward. While the thought of the added hormones can be daunting, having an action plan, and working more aggressively towards achieving a pregnancy is exciting. So for now, we wait on test results and my next cycle to decide when and how we proceed, but the plan for now is to move forward with IVF.

If you want to pray for us, we would love for you to pray for guidance and for peace. Thanks to everyone who is still keeping up with reading my blog, especially during the down times when I don't have much news to share. I'll be sure to update you all in October with our test results, and tentative plan for moving forward.

Infertility Update June 2016

Confession: Normally when I post these updates, they are usually a few weeks behind. I started doing this during our fertility treatments last year, because I knew that if we got pregnant, I'd want a couple of weeks to tell friends and family personally before we shared on here. As you all know, my cycles are not always the same length, and because of this timing, I am usually ending once cycle and beginning a new one in the middle of a month, but it's just easier for me to update everyone on a monthly basis.

Based on the timing of my April post and that cycle, I assumed my next cycle would end near the beginning or middle of May, given my previous cycles.

So technically my "May" cycle ended Mother's Day weekend. Another month, no pregnancy. Kind of sad that it was Mother's Day weekend because that time can be difficult anyways, but all we can do is accept it and move on. So that's what Lee and I did. I really didn't feel like I had much else to say about it, other than we weren't pregnant, so I didn't write a May blog post. Then, about two weeks later (still in May) my cycle started all over again (ugh!), which made that cycle only about 2 weeks long. This was very unusual for me, and has never happened before, but my doctor did some blood work and confirmed that I did NOT conceive and miscarry, so that was good news.

My doctor doesn't know what caused the unusually short cycle, but he said to continue charting and if it happens again, we can do some more testing. Thankfully, this did not happen in June. Unfortunately, we also did not conceive in June. So I have actually completed 3 cycles since my last blog post, although its only been about 8 weeks since my last infertility update.

I want to update you guys on our future plans, but in order to do that, I think I need to recap. If you've been reading along for the past year and a half, and already know what's going on, feel free to skip these next 4 paragraphs.

Last year we did 6 rounds of intrauterine insemination (IUI), with several different types of medication. None of them resulted in pregnancy, so we decided to take a break from fertility treatments. We had a few trips planned last summer/fall, and decided we wanted to go into those without the worry of taking along medications, or risking missing the trip for a doctors appointment, or missing an appointment because of the trips. Our plan was to try a round of In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) in October once we were done traveling for the year.

October came, and we decided that IVF with my eggs and Lee's sperm would likely be the last type of fertility treatment we are currently willing to try. We have learned that these expectations change, especially as the circumstances change, but this is what we are thinking for now. We wanted to make sure we have utilized all of our resources, that way, if IVF is unsuccessful, we can  have peace of mind knowing we really did try all of the options that fit within our comfort zone. That being said, we decided to give Natural Family Planning (NFP) a try. It took us a few months (about 5) to figure out how to chart my cycles, and really get an idea of what is going on. In March, my doctor figured out that near the end of my cycle, my progesterone level is dropping too soon. Having low progesterone can cause the lining of the uterus to shed sooner than normal, preventing implantation, along with a host of other issues. In addition to having low progesterone, I was having trouble recognizing ovulation, so my doctor recommended both Vitamin B (daily) and Mucinex (certain days during my cycle) to help enhance signs of ovulation, that way I can more easily recognize when this time is coming. So in March, I began taking these medications.

March went well, and I had a fairly normal cycle. Detecting ovulation in April was a mess, and I completely missed my window of ovulation and my window for taking progesterone. We hoped May would be better, but it was not. Ovulation was still hard to detect, so I had started and stopped progesterone (which may have caused my next cycle to be so short), and ultimately, we did not conceive.

My next cycle was a mere 2 weeks, but thankfully blood work did not show evidence of a miscarriage, and for that we are so thankful. June's cycle has been pretty normal, but unfortunately, we did not conceive. So here we are now, hoping for better news in July.

My doctor recommends that we give this medicine cocktail + cycle tracking a fair try, aka about 6 months or so. March was month 1, April was a wash, May was month 2, May's 2nd (2 week) cycle was a wash, and June was month 3. So we are about halfway through this NFP trial. We will keep trying July, August, and September, and pray that one of those months is finally the month God chooses to bless us with a child.

As we continue trying to conceive over these next few months, we are aware that these months could pass with no result in pregnancy. Although we try to remain positive, and are devoted to giving NFP a fair try, we also try to be realistic. If after this summer, we have still not conceived naturally, our doctor has given us 3 options, not in any specific order:
1. He can refer us to a more specialized NFP doctor in St. Louis
2. We can return to our  Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) who did our IUIs last year (or another RE if we prefer)
3. Adoption

Although we have no idea what will happen over these next few months, Lee and I have talked, and unless God puts something else on our hearts, if we do not conceive on our own, we plan to return to our RE this fall to finally give IVF a try.


How amazing would it be if we were able to get pregnant naturally? This is truly our wish, and if you want to pray for us, these would be our prayer requests: Pray that God allow us to conceive naturally.  Also, we would appreciate that you pray that God give us peace with His plan, regardless of what that entails.

As many of you know, I have made so many friends through this monthly infertility support group called The Nest. My friend Elisha hosts it once a month at her home in southern Illinois, and I have been attending for over a year. This group has been such a blessing to me! New friendships, great food, and people who just 'get it'. We have wonderful friends and family who have supported Lee and I throughout all of this, but having someone who has been through a similar experience is just a different type of support. These women encourage me, listen to me cry and vent, pray for me and with me. My relationship with Christ has grown due to the encouragement of this group, which has in turn also strenghtened my relationship with my hubby in ways that I never even knew our relationship needed to grow! It's kind of crazy to say, but in a way, I have to be a little bit thankful for infertility, because without it, I would not have met some of these women.

Because Lee and I are continuing our current treatment plan over the next few months, I really don't have much to update you all with other than whether we are or are not pregnant, but I want to keep blogging, because it is enjoyable for me, and I love keeping you all updated on whats going on in mine and Lee's lives. So in the meantime, I am going to write a few posts about what how infertility has ironically blessed me, how I've learned to cope, etc. and I will share those posts in lieu of a monthly update post here and there. I will also write updates on our situation, but probably less often since I won't have a lot of news to share. Don't worry, though. If Lee and I conceive, we will not leave you out of that exciting news! So many of you have kept up with us through this blog, and we are so thankful for your engorgement, prayers, and support. In the meantime, please let us know if there's something that we can be praying about for you as well.

Infertility Update April 2015

Well, this month was not a success in the baby making department. Actually, it was a super-fail for me as far as charting goes. I started the month not being very motivated, and therefore less-than-focused with charting my cycle.  Last month's cycle was longer than usual, and very sporadic as far as signs of ovulation go. I assumed this month would be no different, so I didn't pay very close attention at the beginning of my cycle, since I figured ovulation was much farther out (like last month), and as it turned out, I totally missed my window of ovulation. Because I didn't catch that I was ovulating, I didn't take progesterone, and before I realized, it was too late. So obviously, this month wasn't a huge shock that we didn't conceive, because we weren't super focused. 

Maybe that's not a bad thing? It’s kind of nice to not feel like every day is revolving around charting and all that. Life seems to be pretty busy these past few weeks, and it's been nice to focus on something other than getting pregnant. I almost feel guilty as I type this post, because it may sound like I really don't care about getting pregnant, and that's not true at all! I really do want to experience pregnancy and start a family, and so does Lee. We talk about it almost every day. After 2.5 years of trying, though, it just starts to get old... ya know? I get tired of wondering if we should or shouldn't plan a trip for a certain month, because what if I'm pregnant during that time? It's not just vacations, I feel like a lot of our larger life decisions over the past few years have revolved around whether or not we will soon have a baby, or will we have doctor's appointments for fertility treatments... it's like this constant feeling of being in limbo, and feeling uncertain about what the future holds for us. This past month, I was just over it. 

All that being said, this current cycle I have been much more attentive with my charting so far, so we'll see how it goes. Besides that, not much else is new with us. Although I don't have much else major to report, I think it is important for me to mention that throughout all of this, God is so good. All the time, every day. There are days when I'm really questioning his plan, and I feel like he has totally forgotten about me, because why else would he make me wait this long? There are days when I just feel defeated, unworthy, and broken down. Those days are few and far between, but when they come, they crash in like a ton of bricks. Then I have days when I have zero doubts that God will bless us with a baby, and I feel so encouraged. On those days, infertility seems like no big deal, because I know our breakthrough is coming... and then, of course, there are lots of days like I had this past month where I just felt indifferent, and lacked the motivation to worry about it. I think most people dealing with life's struggles can relate to that... not just infertility, but through any of the curve balls life throws our way, there are good days and bad days. God has NOT forgotten me, nor does he think I am unworthy... I think the best time is right now, and he has a plan better than I could even imagine. I sometimes just have to remind myself that on the good days, God is good, and on the bad days, God is still good. 

Thank you for reading and keeping up with our blog! Since my school schedule is winding down and I'm starting to have more free time after work, I've been getting back into the swing of blogging more. Over the past year or so since I've started this blog, it has been really enjoyable to be able to share bits of our life with you all,whether it be fun recipes I've tried, random social blog posts, or updates on our journey to start a family. Lee and I are so thankful for those of you who read and pray for us. I would love to return the favor. If there's anything I can be praying about for you, please let me know! 

Infertility Update March 2016

Hi friends! Here is an update with what has been going on over the past 5 weeks or so. Over the past few months, we have been learning to chart my cycles using a Natural Family Planning method, and this past month we have added in some medication to help. To briefly summarize, we continued charting using the Creighton Model, while taking Vitamin B and Mucinex prior and during ovulation, and taking progesterone (hormone) after ovulation. The Vitamin B and Mucinex are both mucus enhancers, which should help me to identify ovulation. We think my progesterone level is low, so by taking this pill, it should help increase mine to a normal level.

We were really feeling positive about this plan, and were super excited to get started. Unfortunately, this month was more irregular than the past few months, which made tracking more difficult. The general concept with using the Creighton Model is that by tracking mucus or lack thereof and charting it daily, we can begin to see a pattern, and be able to recognize when I am ovulating. After meeting with our doctor the last time, we figured out that I typically have two peaks per month (which basically means if you look at my chart, you would think I ovulated twice in one month because of my charting pattern), but with blood work, we were able to learn which peak is true ovulation. Once I was able to recognize signs of ovulation, I was to start taking progesterone. This was my first month trying this hormone, and overall, it was no problem. I took it in the evenings before bed because it can cause dizziness, stomach discomfort, etc. I really didn't notice any of those symptoms. In fact, the only symptom I noticed was that I had a nice, deep sleep each night I took his hormone. That being said, I did found it more difficult to wake up and get going in the mornings, but overall I enjoyed the good sleep. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm really not a morning person, so progesterone certainly didn't reduce productivity before work, because I'm rarely productive before work anyways, haha!

Before taking the progesterone this month, I had a hard time identifying whether or not I had actually ovulated because my cycle did not follow the same pattern this month that it had previously. There was one night where depending how I read my chart, I may or may not have been ready to start the progesterone. I really wasn't sure, so I sent a text to my NFP trainer. She ended up calling me at 11pm on a Saturday night and talked me through my chart! She is truly so dedicated to this cause! She looked at my chart and suggested I wait a few days to take the progesterone, so that's what we did. By looking at my completed chart at the end of the month, my doctor said that she was correct. We felt extra thankful for her guidance and encouragement this month.

Although we were finally able to pick out when I ovulated, unfortunately, we did not get pregnant. I was pretty bummed, and had two solid days of crying and moping around a small little pity party. Lucky for me, my friends and family never allow me to stay down long, so after a few days of feeling sorry for myself, my hubby reminded me that what's done is done, and we have to keep truckin' along. One of the few good things about infertility is that once we get our bad news, we are right into a new cycle, and with each new cycle comes another chance to get pregnant and new hope.

After finding out that we did not conceive this month, we scheduled an appointment with our doctor. He looked at my chart and said that he thought the medicine I took was helpful, and he thinks we're looking at having a pretty normal cycle now. (Although my charting was more difficult this month, I was still able to identify ovulation and had a normal timing between ovulation and my period, so this is overall a "normal" cycle.) He typically diagnoses infertility after 6 months of a couple trying to get pregnant while charting a normal cycle. So since we've only had one "normal" cycle with the 3 medications, he thinks we should try this new concoction and timing of medication for another 5 months.

After 5 months of this plan, if we have not conceived, he can either refer us to a more specialized NFP doctor in St. Louis, or we can go back to our Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) who did our IUIs. We know if we go back to our RE, his suggestion will be In-Vitro Fertilization, which is something we had planned to do last summer, but we put that idea on hold to try NFP. At this point, we still aren't opposed to that option, but we really don't even want to think that far out yet. For now, we want to focus on our current plan with our current doctor, and hope that after a few cycles of Vitamin B, Mucinex, and Progesterone, our miracle will come.

I will keep you all updated over these next couple of months. If you are prayerful, please continue to pray for guidance and peace, as we are really trying to be patient and trust that this is all part of God's great plan for us. If you are not prayerful, but want to be, please reach out to me! I would love to share with you what God has done in our lives these past couple of years. Thank you for reading! 

Infertility Update February 2016

Hello everyone! This month has been really exciting, and I can't wait to share with you our progress. If you need to catch up, here are links to my last 2 blog posts:

November and December

January

To summarize, I have been charting my cycles using a Natural Family Planning method (The Creighton Model), and have been taking Vitamin B and Mucinex, which will hopefully help to make ovulation more obvious, as both can act as mucus-enhancing agents, and the Creighton model focuses on tracking mucus or lack thereof. By looking at the charts of my cycles, my doctor also suspects low progesterone (hormone), and did blood work last month to test my progesterone level.  

So here's what's been going on this month: We recently met with our doctor to get the results of the blood work I had done in January. Our goal was to have the blood drawn after ovulation. We realized by looking at the hormone levels and by looking at my charts, that I ovulated later than I expected. So this means the timing with the blood work was off, and our doctor wasn't able to officially see if my progesterone level is low, but he was able to confirm about when in my cycle I ovulated. Based on what my charting shows and when my blood work showed me to have ovulated, now I feel really comfortable being able to recognize when I'm ovulating. Although we weren't able to tell for sure that my progesterone level is low because of the timing of the blood work, based on my last 3 cycles, my doctor feels comfortable assuming my progesterone is low, so I will start taking that pill with this cycle.

I'm not a doctor, so I don't know all of the technical terms that go along with all of this, but here's how I understand it: I have a lot of spotting before and after my period. My doctor says this is an indicator that I likely have low progesterone. Because my progesterone is low, the lining of my uterus is beginning to shed (me have a period) sooner than it should, which could prevent implantation even if the sperm and egg are meeting. Also, low progesterone can be a cause of miscarriage, so being aware of this could help to prevent issues in the future. 

So this month I am continuing to take Vitamin B everyday. I'll also take Mucinex a few days before ovulation would typically happen, and continue it until I see signs of ovulation. After I see signs of ovulation, I will stop taking the Mucinex, and start taking progesterone. Thankfully, the progesterone is simply a pill I can swallow rather than an injection like some of the other hormones I previously took. This is a small victory that I am happy to celebrate! :)

With adding the progesterone this month, there are 2 good outcomes we could hope for. The first option would be that I get pregnant, and we'd have exciting news to share with you guys! The second option would be that if I don't get pregnant, we hope I have a normal period without a lot of spotting. If I miss my period and am pregnant, we will do some blood work to see if I should keep taking progesterone throughout the first trimester of pregnancy. If I don't get pregnant this month, we will go back to the doctor and see if he thinks the progesterone helped at all, and go from there. We are really feeling positive about what we are doing right now. We have no way to know if this will work for us, just as we didn't know with IUI, but we feel like everything we are learning about NFP is very useful, and I really feel like I am in a much better place emotionally than I was last spring. I am looking forward to trying something new this month, and I can't wait to share our progress with you all!

Infertility Update January 2016

Hi everyone!! In my last post, I told you all that Lee and I were working with a new Family/OB Doctor who was helping us learn how to use Natural Family Planning (NFP). NFP is a way of tracking various biological markers (such as mucus) to determine when ovulation is occurring. There are several different versions of NFP. Lee and I are using The Creighton Model.

We started tracking my cycle in late October, and had tracked about 2.5 cycles when we did our follow up at the end of December. 

Here's what we found out at our appointment: based on what I've charted, I likely have a very small window of ovulation. He suggested I start taking a slow release Vitamin B daily, which should help with this. He also recommended that I start taking Mucinex n a few days before I would typically ovulate, and continue taking It until after my peak day (ovulation). 

In addition to the two over-the-counter medications I'm taking, my doctor also wanted to do some blood work to test my progesterone. From what I understand, progesterone is a hormone that helps thicken the lining of the uterus. Each month the progesterone level should increase around the time of ovulation (and subsequently the lining of the uterus would thicken as well). Then, after the egg is not fertilized, the lining of the uterus flushes out, and that's when a woman has a period. If the egg does fertilize, then of course the progesterone level stays higher and the lining of the uterus stays thick so that it can support the growth of a baby. Low progesterone can cause issues with implantation and also can be a cause of miscarriage. Based on what my charting has shown, my doctor thinks it's possible I may have low progesterone. He suggested we do some blood work to find out. To make sure my progesterone level is peaking like it should, once I show signs of Ovulation, I have blood work done on days 3, 5, 7, 9, & 11 after my peak day. I had this done last week. My blood work is being sent to a lab in Omaha, and once my doctor gets the results, he will have Lee and I schedule a follow up appointment. If my level is low, he will likely have me take progesterone. So we're curious to see how that turns out. 

Our doctor says once we get the progesterone and mucus levels right, Lee and I should try getting pregnant naturally for several months. Once we get the blood work results back, I will post another update. So far, we are learning a lot tracking my cycles, and the past two months my cycles were fairly regular! This is great, and we are thankful for every bit of progress we make.

Thank you for reading my blog, especially since my posts are less frequent these days, and thank you even more for your thoughts and prayers! 

Infertility Update November and December

Hi everyone! I know my updates have been few and far between these past few months, and that is mostly because we don't have a ton of new things happening in the baby making department these days. I can only type so many posts about my ups and downs with infertility, and I don't want to bore you guys with that over and over. I'm sure by now you get the picture.

We are still tracking my cycle using Natural Family Planning methods. Now that we have tracked 2 cycles (we are tracking my 3rd currently), it is time to meet with our doctor again. This doctor is not an RE (reproductive endocrinologist) AKA he is not an infertility doctor. He is a family/OB doctor, but he is so passionate about natural family planning, and he has encouraged us to give this method a try. We are planning to meet with him towards the end of the month and see what he has to say about what we've tracked so far.

I don't want to go into a ton of detail on what how this method works, because if there's anyone who's reading and may want to give this a try, I want them to go to a professional and learn ALL of the details that go along with it, as every. single. detail. is important to use NFP successfully.  So that being said, I'll just briefly summarize. (Side note: If anyone is interested in trying NFP in lieu of birth control, or for any other reason, contact me! )

There are several types of Natural Family Planning Methods. We are using the Creighton Model, and this is basically where I track my cycle daily and write down what I see. My fertile and non-fertile days are measured by mucus and lack thereof. Yep, you read that one correctly... kinda wierd, but super interesting so far. Depending on the amount, color, consistency of mucus, and where I'm at in my cycle, that information together can be a good indicator as to whether or not I am ovulating, and you all know what needs to happen from there, so I won't go into detail about the rest! :)  So here's what we've found so far by tracking my cycles:

The past 3 months, I have had 30-35ish day cycles. THIS. IS. AWESOME!!!!! These are pretty normal length cycles, so for me to have 3 in a row is awesome! Previously I was having 38-40ish day cycles, which is pretty long, and they were inconsistent in length from month to month. The inconsistency is the main issue, because it's hard to predict ovulation if you really don't know if this month's cycle will be 28 or 45 days long.

 Here's what we've learned from our new doctor that we didn't necessarily know before: Its not actually a bad thing to have a really long cycle. A woman's cycle is split into 4 'phases'. I'm not a doctor and I don't know all the scientific lingo.... and I'm not going to try to, but I'll do my best to explain what I know: There are 4 phases to a woman's cycle, and here's what happens in each phase: 1. Period 2. Dry days 3. Ovulation 4. Dry days. The number of days for parts 1 and 2 of the cycle can vary, and that isn't necessarily a problem. What IS important is that ovulation and the days after are between 9 and 17 days. For most women, this part of the cycle usually stays within this range, and if it doesn't, there's probably an issue of some sort.

So by tracking my cycle/mucus in detail, we can figure out the timing of phases 3 and 4, and from there I can have a really good idea of when I'm ovulating (if I am ovulating), and when I will start my period. We're almost 3 months in so far, and not pregnant yet, but I'm not getting too down just yet, because I'm learning a lot, and I have a feeling that even if not now, this information will be really useful someday!

So for now we are going to keep tracking, and see what our doctor says at the end of the month. He will take a look at our charts and try to figure out if the thinks I am actually ovulating or not, and we'll go from there. Based on what I've seen so far on my charts, I'm wondering if I really am ovulating or not? I'm curious to see what the doctor thinks. If he thinks I'm not, hopefully he will have some ideas as to how we can make my body ovulate without a ton of fertility drugs and procedures. We are still really enjoying me not taking a ton of hormones every month, giving shots, etc. Not to say we won't ever do that again, but for now, we are thankful for life to be getting back to normal.

We have still not completely taken the idea of IVF off the table, but we do want to give NFP a fair chance before moving on. If NFP doesn't work after an undecided amount of time, we will look into IVF again, but for now, we're learning a lot, an aren't giving up! We would just really love to get pregnant naturally and not have to do anymore fertility treatments. This is our current prayer request. We also would really like for everyone to pray for peace and understanding. I have gotten to the point where I don't pray and ask God for a baby as much as I used to. Not because I've given up- trust me, I haven't, but because I am trying so hard to trust that God has a plan for us, and his plan is best. If he thinks we don't need to get pregnant right now, then he must have a better time in mind. I'm trying to have peace with that, although it's a daily struggle. So that's where we currently stand in our infertility journey.

I am hoping to write another update after our doctor's appointment at the end of the month. Once we meet with him, we will have a better idea of what our game plan is for 2016!

Infertility Update September and October 2015

Hi everyone! It's been a while since I've posted an update about our baby-making situation. So here's what we've been up to...

We took our trip to Mexico with my family at the end of September. We really had an awesome vacation! I'm going to do a separate post about Mexico, so once I do that, I'll let you all know. Since getting back from Mexico, I have been swamped with work for my two graduate school classes, and Lee has been busy with work and various projects around the house. The good news is, I only have 6 more weeks of school before I get a 4 week break from school... and after this semester, I will only have 2/5 of my MBA left to earn! Whoop whoop!!

Lee and I had originally planned to give IVF a try once we had taken all of the vacations we had planned for this year. Mexico was the last trip we planned to take, so we were thinking we would start this process sometime in October. During my last blog post, I mentioned that I was having second thoughts about IVF, and just really wasn't sure that it was the next step we should take. I prayed for guidance, and currently, we just don't feel called to start IVF. We aren't saying, "never", we're simply saying, "Not right now."

Fertility treatments are exhausting mentally, physically, emotionally, etc. After doing 6 IUIs back to back earlier this year, we just don't feel ready to try IVF. The thought of starting all of those hormones and doctors appointments is overwhelming... and to say it feels overwhelming is actually an understatement. After taking all of those hormones earlier this year, I still don't feel that I am 100% back to my normal self (I still have hot flashes, etc. which I never had prior to starting fertility treatments). IVF would require even more medication than the IUI's, and besides the medication, there are lots of ups and downs with the whole process. We're just not ready to go through all of that again.

So what now?! Well, quite some time ago, a girlfriend of mine mentioned that she had a few friends who use various natural family planning (NFP) methods, and she was considering stopping her birth control and trying something more natural. When she had mentioned it I really didn't think much of it, because we were trying to get pregnant so I figured any type of birth control was irrelevant to us...But then a few months later a friend of a friend messaged me on Facebook and said that he and his wife had been reading my blog and they felt called to share some NFP information with me. I kind of blew it off because once again, I just really didn't think there's any way it could help me get pregnant.

After Lee and I decided that we just don't feel like IVF is the best choice for us right now, I looked into Natural Family Planning, and happened to find a doctor in the area who really encourages it. So I called him, and he really wasn't taking new patients for his family practice, but he is taking new OB patients. Well, he is not an OBGYN, just an OB, and obviously I'm not in the market for an OB doctor right now, but I explained the situation, and he said he would be happy to meet with me. So I met with him and went into detail about mine and Lee's experience, my cycles, our 6 IUIs, etc. and he said given our circumstances, he thinks we could potentially benefit from trying NFP. Of course he can't guarantee it working for us anymore than our fertility doctor could guarantee our IUIs, but Lee and I figure it's worth a try.

Natural Family Planning (NFP) is a way to track your cycle and know how to identify fertile times. This method can be used to both achieve and avoid pregnancy without taking birth control pills. Here is the site I initially looked at before calling our new doctor.

Our new doctor referred me to a woman in town who teaches all about NFP. Lee and I are using the Creighton Model, and to summarize it very briefly, its a way of charting and tracking my cycle to learn to identify fertile and not fertile times, based on various biological markers. So I met with this woman and she went over the basics, and now I am charting my cycle, and meeting with her every two weeks to learn more about the process and talk about my charting progress. After charting two full cycles, then I'll go back to the doctor and he'll look at my charts to try to try to determining if I really am ovulating on my own, etc.

This whole process is pretty new to me, as I've only been charting for like 3 weeks, so I'm not going to go into much detail just yet. But check back at the end of November, and I'll fill you in a little more on how its working for us. The main bummer with switching our plan from IVF to NVP is more waiting. The waiting part is really tough... that's never going to change. Lee and I have been trying to start our family for 22 months... 22 times we have tried, and have not gotten pregnant. At this point, we figure the benefits of conceiving on our own far out weigh the disadvantage of waiting a few more months for our miracle, and for that reason, we are willing to give this a try. If it doesn't work for us, we will re-consider IVF. For now, I'm learning a lot, and it's nice not to have the added stress of fertility treatments.


Side note: If you search the Creighton Model, you probably won't find much information about how to actually track your cycle... you'll mostly find research explaining why families are successful with using this model. The woman who is teaching me to track my cycle explained that for people to use this method, doctors really prefer that they get training like I am, so that the tracking is done successfully. Otherwise, people may try it, but not use this method accurately, and then not get the results they want, and that would give NFP a bad name. This method has been proven to be extremely accurate when used correctly. Most of the time when people use this method, if they get opposite results its due to an error in their charting.

Infertility Update- August 2015

Hi friends! I hope you all have had great summers! Lee and I certainly have. We've been busy these past couple of months!

June and July were busy for us! You can read about what we did during those months here and here.

August slowed down just a bit. At the beginning of the month, we went to Kansas City and enjoyed a weekend get away and saw Kenny Chesney and Jason Aldean in concert. We celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary, and spent some time deep cleaning our house and getting ready for school to start back up.

As far as our infertility situation goes, we finished our 6th Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) cycle in June. All 6 of them were big fat negatives. We decided a break from all of the drugs, hormones, needles, and appointments. July was our first full month with no treatments. It was so nice. We were busy every weekend that month, and it was just really awesome to not have to miss work, rush home from weekend trips to go to appointments, give shots, or anything like that. I also had about a 31 day cycle, so that was really encouraging too! That was my first cycle of 2015 that hadn't been controlled by doctors and drugs, and it made me so happy to be somewhat regular.

Then August rolled around, and my body decided to be difficult again. This month my cycle was about 40 days long. So this means I'm back to irregular ovulation, which was our main reason for seeking fertility treatments in the first place.

We decided previously that after 6 IUIs, there's really no point in doing anymore... time to move on to something else. Next we plan to try In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), but we decided to put that on hold until after summer is over, and we are back from the trips we have planned. Lee nor I had never been to a destination wedding before 2015, but it just so happens this year we are going to 2! We already went to one in FL in July, and are planning to attend another in Mexico this fall. Once we get back from Mexico, we plan to call Dr. G and get the IVF process started.

Thinking about IVF has really had me going back and forth lately. Somedays I just really want to get started NOW because I want to get pregnant and experience all that goes along with it NOW. I so badly just want to be able to talk about baby names and have a real reason for doing so... I want to finally have a reason to clean out our extra bedroom and paint it and buy baby furniture and watch my belly grow, and talk about how Lee is going to be the most adorable daddy EVER. (Side note: Seriously... There's just no way God created and man so sweet, genuine, and patient and didn't intend for him to be a father.) I'm impatient and I want all of that to happen right now! The thought of all of this happening makes me really look forward to starting IVF.

Other days I think, "Why in the world would we even consider doing IVF?! What kind of crazy person does that to themselves??" After 6 emotional, painful, heartbreaking IUIs, why would I want to do that to myself again, at an even more intense level? More hormones, LOTS more needles to the stomach, more appointments, more money... what part of that sounds enjoyable? What if it fails? To think that we could do all of this yet again, and still not end up pregnant is so intimidating. Think of it this way: If you saved up and went to the dealership to buy a car, and they told you that you must pay first, and there's about a 70% chance you'll leave with one car. There's a small chance you could even leave with 2 or 3 cars, but there's a 30% chance that you'll leave with nothing... would you buy from that dealership?! No way! That's kinda how I feel with IVF. I'm excited because the success rate is much higher than IUI, but there's still a chance we could leave with nothing, and that is SO SCARY! Of course the thought of getting pregnant and having a precious baby to hold is motivating, but its easy to let past failures get in the way of thinking it could happen.

So as you can tell, even the waiting process can sometimes be a roller coaster. Ask me one day and I'll tell you we are ready and IVF is our next step, no doubt. Ask me another day and I might say that I'm so nervous about it, and i just really don't know if we should start fertility treatment again. Medically, it just makes sense that we try IVF if we want to get pregnant, but its not a 100% guarantee, and that can be scary.

After we had our last IUI, I really just hoped that we could be one of those crazy stories where our fertility treatments fail, but all the meds helped regulate my cycle, and we get pregnant on our own. Clearly, that is not our current situation.

My friend Elisha reminded me last month at The Nest*, that God can change your circumstances in an instant. Doctors can try all they want, but life can only be created when God is ready. He doesn't need a regular cycle, he doesn't need the perfect size follicles before the IUI, he doesn't need any of it. He is bigger than all of that, and he can (and will) create life at the perfect time, whether that be naturally or with the help of fertility treatment. I'm trying so hard to remind myself of this.

Overall, no fertility treatments this summer has been a nice break for Lee and I, and we have enjoyed our time together traveling and spending time with friends and family. Although we have this infertility roller coaster going on, we are trucking along! We know we have so much to be thankful for, and we know that God has a plan for us. Sometimes its just hard to figure out what that plan might be, especially for impatient people like me!

So for now we are putting up fall decor and buying everything pumpkin  enjoying these last few days of summer, planning and packing for our trip to Mexico, and after that, I guess we'll call Dr. G and get this ball rolling.  If any of you are interested in praying for us, we would love that you pray specifically for guidance. We would love for God to give us some guidance in deciding if IVF really is the next best step for us. In the meantime, if there is anything we can be praying about for you, please let us know!

*Side note: Any of my friends living in the Southern Illinois area should definitely reach out to Elisha from Waiting for Baby Bird, and talk to her about attending her faith based support group. She hosts it once a month, so it's not a huge time commitment, and its so so enjoyable! I have been going for several months now, and really love the ladies I've met in this group! Nothing beats good food, an encouraging message, and some girl time with women who totally relate to the struggle of infertility.