Infertility Update: October 2016

Hi friends! I didn't have much info to share between June and September, but now that we've gotten things rolling with the IVF process, I have lots to share with you. If you want to read my last update, you can take a look here.

In late August, Lee and I met with our Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) aka our fertility doctor, and let him know we were interested in moving forward with fertility treatments again. He thought IVF would be our next step, but wanted to do some testing to make sure nothing had changed since we last saw him in June 2015. He wanted to start by testing some hormones and my Vitamin D level. I also wanted to do some testing for a gluten intolerance (Celiac Disease), and he obliged. In addition to the blood work, he did an ultrasound and a biopsy.

The blood work showed that I have low Vitamin D. Most people have low Vitamin D, so this is a common thing. Mine wasn't dangerously low or anything, so he just suggested that I start that Vitamin D supplement again since I have been slacking on taking it over the summer. The blood work also showed that I do not appear to be allergic to gluten, and the hormone he tested measured normal.

The ultrasound that I had was different than any of the ultrasounds I've had before. It was an SIS, which is short for Saline Infusion Sonography. Basically they put saline in the uterus and do an ultrasound to take a look at the uterus and ovaries. This ultrasound caused a lot of cramping because of the saline, but other than that, not too horrible. The doctor was able to tell me during ultrasound that everything looked normal, so we knew already knew the ultrasound was fine going into the appointment.

The biopsy, on the other hand, was not as much of a breeze. The only good thing I can say about it was that it was quick. I had a lot of cramping during the biopsy, and once we were done, the doctor said that he wasn't able to get enough tissue, so he wouldn't be able to send it off to have lab work done. He said sometimes doing the SIS first can make getting tissue right afterwards difficult. There are two reasons we did the biopsy: 1. so we can test for endometritus in my uterus, (which is apparently different from endometriosis), and can be treated with antiobiotics. 2. After tissue is cut out for a biopsy, the uterus has to heal itself, and implantation of the embryo into the uterus can sometimes be higher in months after this healing happens.... so although he wouldn't be able to send the tissue off to the lab, the healing process would still happen, and our doctor was happy with that. He said it was totally up to me if he took another biopsy to send in. Although the 1st biopsy was painful, I decided that I was already there and already cramping and what not, so let's just do it and get it over with. That way we are going into our IVF cycle knowing that we've covered all of the bases that we can, and we don't know of anything that could interfere. So I actually had 2 biopsies taken that day, and I cried like a baby! So to all you women who have experienced pregnancy and child birth... I don't know how you do it!! The biopsy alone was enough to make me lay around and be whiny for the rest of the day. The good news is that the biopsy came back benign, so all is well there.

So other than Vitamin D, everything came back normal. Now I am diligently taking a daily Vitamin D supplement as well as the Vitamin B6 that my NFP doctor recommended, and a daily prenatal vitamin.

Our plan is that with my next menstrual cycle, I will start the injections on day 2, and on day 5 of my cycle I will go to the doctor's office for an ultrasound (a regular ultrasound this time, no saline), and blood work. I will do this for several days, add or decrease medication as needed, depending how my body responds. Once my body appears to have several mature follicles, we will do the trigger shot, which is an injection to trigger my ovaries to release eggs from these follicles, and then the doctor will retrieve all of these eggs. The eggs will then be matched up with Lee's sperm, grow for a few days to become embryos, and the embryos will then be transferred back to my uterus. We hope that they will then implant and I will be pregnant!

So that's a summary of our testing results and what will happen going forward. I will probably update you guys on each next step of the process as I can. If you are going to pray for us, please pray that my body respond well to the medication, and that other side effects (such as hot flashes, emotional ups and downs, etc.) are minimal. Thank you for all of your love, prayers, and support, especially from those of you who have been there for us over the last almost 3 years. I was, and sometimes still am, nervous about sharing all of this and being vulnerable, especially online, about such a sensitive topic. I am so appreciative of those of you who have encouraged Lee and I, and I'm grateful for everyone who keeps reading. Some of you have been reading for almost 2 years now, and I can't tell you enough how much it means to me that you've not given up on us! Your hope reminds me to be hopeful on days when I feel like this is a lost cause. I can't wait for the day when I can post a photo or an update about our family of 3 (or more)! I told Lee the other night in the midst of a crying moment that I love our family of 2. I am so thankful for all of the great things we have going on in our lives and for all of the wonderful people we've been surrounded by. Despite all of that, I am so ready for our family to grow, and over the past 3 years, that yearning hasn't faded at all. In fact, it's gotten stronger. That can make this process a sad, frustrating, and draining one. I just can't thank you all enough for your support during those sad, frustrating, and draining times. I'm so glad to have you all, and most importantly I'm so thankful to know a God who loves, heals, forgives, and restores. He has really given us all of the resources we need to show infertility who is boss!

Infertility Update: September 2016

Hi everyone! I know, I know... Long time, no blog. When I wrote my last post back in June, I had all intentions of writing a few other posts this summer, but time just got away from me! This summer was lots of fun, but busy! Two of my favorite ladies got married this summer: my best friend from high school, and my cousin. I got to be Matron of Honor in both weddings. Did I tell you that the weddings were two weeks apart? So I spent a chunk of my summer doing a whole lot of brides-maiding. Everyone knows that I love planning parties, meals, favors, etc. so while this kept me super busy, it was also really fun for me.

In addition to bridesmaiding, I finished up a summer class, we were guests at a couple of other weddings, took a long weekend trip to Hilton Head Island, and did a little boating with family and friends. So all in all, Lee and I have been busy, but we've had a really great summer together. I'm feeling extra thankful for all of the time we've gotten to spend with our friends and family. I do still have plans for a few other advice-focused blog posts, but I'll put those on the back burner for now, so I can update you all with what's going on.

Throughout this summer, we continued tracking my cycles using a method of Natural Family Planning, called the Creighton Model. I won't go into detail with that process, but if you want to read more about it, check out my blog post from earlier this summer. We gave this method a fair try, and although we learned a lot from it, we have not yet gotten pregnant using it. Our NFP doctor, who has now also become our family doctor suggested that we move forward. He offered to refer us to a more specialized NFP doctor in St. Louis, but we opted to go back to our Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE), aka our fertility doctor.

So, we made an appointment and met with our RE. He thought we needed to start with some testing, just to make sure nothing has changed since we last saw him. The tests we decided on were blood work to test hormone levels, vitamin levels, and a test for Celiac Disease. My doctor actually does not think I have Celiac Disease at all, but I really wanted this test done, so he obliged. A lot of people are now finding out that they are gluten intolerant, and I know a large majority of gluten allergies are still undiagnosed. I wanted to do some blood work to see if it is a possibility. Apparently blood work is just the beginning with that kind of testing, but it can be a good initial indicator. In addition to blood work, our doctor recommended an ultrasound and a biopsy.

So we got all of that scheduled, and actually I've done all of that testing at this point, but I'll save that whole experience for another post when I can tell you about the testing and the results all at once.

As long as the testing comes back okay, our RE recommends that we proceed with In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Last year we did 6 IUIs with a plethora of medication, and none of them resulted in pregnancy. He really didn't think another IUI would be beneficial, and we agree.  So our plan is once we get the test results back, as long as everything appears to be ok to move forward, we could start an IVF cycle as early as with the start of my next menstrual cycle.

This has been a whirlwind for me. The day we had the appointment with our RE to tell him we were ready to try fertility treatments again, I pulled up to the office, and I just cried... In June of 2015 when we completed our 6th IUI, I never dreamed that 15 months later we would be coming back to this doctor with the same circumstances.

For those of you who have been following our blog for a while now, you already know that I have really struggled with whether or not IVF was the right choice for us. We had initially planned to do it last October once we got back from Mexico, but we just didn't feel called to take that step yet... and truthfully, I really wasn't 100% confident when we met with our fertility doctor again at the end of August.

For about a week after the appointment, I cried pretty much every day.... Is this the right choice for us? Are we sure we want to make this type of investment? Should we be seeking an adoption instead? Is this what God wants for us? Is this something that can bring God glory? So many thoughts running through my mind. So many decisions to make, too.

There are a lot of decisions to be made when agreeing to IVF, and depending on the outcome, we could be bound to IVF in the future as well. IVF is basically where I will take several different types of medication to prompt my ovaries to develop several mature eggs, then I will be put asleep and the doctor will retrieve those eggs. Me eggs will be combined with Lee's sperm in a lab, and will grow for a handful of days to become embryos. Then the embryos will be transferred back to my uterus in hopes of implanting and me becoming pregnant.

So if we have, for example, 5 embryos from our next cycle, we could choose to transfer 1 or 2 of them back into my uterus, and the remaining embryos would be frozen for future use. Obviously, if we only have 1 or 2 embryos that survive the 5ish day growth period, then we may not have any to use for future cycles... it all depends how things go with this first round, but even if we somehow get a miracle and are able to conceive on our own in the future, or decide to adopt and are blessed with a child that way, we still have these frozen embryos to use... so there are a lot of scenarios for us to think about and decide on.

With so many decisions on my mind, I was really struggling. In addition to all of the decisions for Lee and I to make, I was also stressing already about the medication. Last year when we did our IUIs, I really had a hard time. Infertility is tough on its own. Add in a ton of hormones, and it can be a hot mess. I just remember feeling so down and defeated after each failed IUI, and super stressed, anxious, and impatient at times, from the medication. I began to think of all of that and wonder if I'm ready for that emotional roller coaster again, and am I willing to accept the results if we try IVF and it fails.  I prayed about it a lot. When the time came for me to go in for my testing, that was a rough day physically, but I left feeling good about the talk I'd had with my doctor, and felt confident and excited to move forward. While the thought of the added hormones can be daunting, having an action plan, and working more aggressively towards achieving a pregnancy is exciting. So for now, we wait on test results and my next cycle to decide when and how we proceed, but the plan for now is to move forward with IVF.

If you want to pray for us, we would love for you to pray for guidance and for peace. Thanks to everyone who is still keeping up with reading my blog, especially during the down times when I don't have much news to share. I'll be sure to update you all in October with our test results, and tentative plan for moving forward.

Infertility Update June 2016

Confession: Normally when I post these updates, they are usually a few weeks behind. I started doing this during our fertility treatments last year, because I knew that if we got pregnant, I'd want a couple of weeks to tell friends and family personally before we shared on here. As you all know, my cycles are not always the same length, and because of this timing, I am usually ending once cycle and beginning a new one in the middle of a month, but it's just easier for me to update everyone on a monthly basis.

Based on the timing of my April post and that cycle, I assumed my next cycle would end near the beginning or middle of May, given my previous cycles.

So technically my "May" cycle ended Mother's Day weekend. Another month, no pregnancy. Kind of sad that it was Mother's Day weekend because that time can be difficult anyways, but all we can do is accept it and move on. So that's what Lee and I did. I really didn't feel like I had much else to say about it, other than we weren't pregnant, so I didn't write a May blog post. Then, about two weeks later (still in May) my cycle started all over again (ugh!), which made that cycle only about 2 weeks long. This was very unusual for me, and has never happened before, but my doctor did some blood work and confirmed that I did NOT conceive and miscarry, so that was good news.

My doctor doesn't know what caused the unusually short cycle, but he said to continue charting and if it happens again, we can do some more testing. Thankfully, this did not happen in June. Unfortunately, we also did not conceive in June. So I have actually completed 3 cycles since my last blog post, although its only been about 8 weeks since my last infertility update.

I want to update you guys on our future plans, but in order to do that, I think I need to recap. If you've been reading along for the past year and a half, and already know what's going on, feel free to skip these next 4 paragraphs.

Last year we did 6 rounds of intrauterine insemination (IUI), with several different types of medication. None of them resulted in pregnancy, so we decided to take a break from fertility treatments. We had a few trips planned last summer/fall, and decided we wanted to go into those without the worry of taking along medications, or risking missing the trip for a doctors appointment, or missing an appointment because of the trips. Our plan was to try a round of In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) in October once we were done traveling for the year.

October came, and we decided that IVF with my eggs and Lee's sperm would likely be the last type of fertility treatment we are currently willing to try. We have learned that these expectations change, especially as the circumstances change, but this is what we are thinking for now. We wanted to make sure we have utilized all of our resources, that way, if IVF is unsuccessful, we can  have peace of mind knowing we really did try all of the options that fit within our comfort zone. That being said, we decided to give Natural Family Planning (NFP) a try. It took us a few months (about 5) to figure out how to chart my cycles, and really get an idea of what is going on. In March, my doctor figured out that near the end of my cycle, my progesterone level is dropping too soon. Having low progesterone can cause the lining of the uterus to shed sooner than normal, preventing implantation, along with a host of other issues. In addition to having low progesterone, I was having trouble recognizing ovulation, so my doctor recommended both Vitamin B (daily) and Mucinex (certain days during my cycle) to help enhance signs of ovulation, that way I can more easily recognize when this time is coming. So in March, I began taking these medications.

March went well, and I had a fairly normal cycle. Detecting ovulation in April was a mess, and I completely missed my window of ovulation and my window for taking progesterone. We hoped May would be better, but it was not. Ovulation was still hard to detect, so I had started and stopped progesterone (which may have caused my next cycle to be so short), and ultimately, we did not conceive.

My next cycle was a mere 2 weeks, but thankfully blood work did not show evidence of a miscarriage, and for that we are so thankful. June's cycle has been pretty normal, but unfortunately, we did not conceive. So here we are now, hoping for better news in July.

My doctor recommends that we give this medicine cocktail + cycle tracking a fair try, aka about 6 months or so. March was month 1, April was a wash, May was month 2, May's 2nd (2 week) cycle was a wash, and June was month 3. So we are about halfway through this NFP trial. We will keep trying July, August, and September, and pray that one of those months is finally the month God chooses to bless us with a child.

As we continue trying to conceive over these next few months, we are aware that these months could pass with no result in pregnancy. Although we try to remain positive, and are devoted to giving NFP a fair try, we also try to be realistic. If after this summer, we have still not conceived naturally, our doctor has given us 3 options, not in any specific order:
1. He can refer us to a more specialized NFP doctor in St. Louis
2. We can return to our  Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) who did our IUIs last year (or another RE if we prefer)
3. Adoption

Although we have no idea what will happen over these next few months, Lee and I have talked, and unless God puts something else on our hearts, if we do not conceive on our own, we plan to return to our RE this fall to finally give IVF a try.


How amazing would it be if we were able to get pregnant naturally? This is truly our wish, and if you want to pray for us, these would be our prayer requests: Pray that God allow us to conceive naturally.  Also, we would appreciate that you pray that God give us peace with His plan, regardless of what that entails.

As many of you know, I have made so many friends through this monthly infertility support group called The Nest. My friend Elisha hosts it once a month at her home in southern Illinois, and I have been attending for over a year. This group has been such a blessing to me! New friendships, great food, and people who just 'get it'. We have wonderful friends and family who have supported Lee and I throughout all of this, but having someone who has been through a similar experience is just a different type of support. These women encourage me, listen to me cry and vent, pray for me and with me. My relationship with Christ has grown due to the encouragement of this group, which has in turn also strenghtened my relationship with my hubby in ways that I never even knew our relationship needed to grow! It's kind of crazy to say, but in a way, I have to be a little bit thankful for infertility, because without it, I would not have met some of these women.

Because Lee and I are continuing our current treatment plan over the next few months, I really don't have much to update you all with other than whether we are or are not pregnant, but I want to keep blogging, because it is enjoyable for me, and I love keeping you all updated on whats going on in mine and Lee's lives. So in the meantime, I am going to write a few posts about what how infertility has ironically blessed me, how I've learned to cope, etc. and I will share those posts in lieu of a monthly update post here and there. I will also write updates on our situation, but probably less often since I won't have a lot of news to share. Don't worry, though. If Lee and I conceive, we will not leave you out of that exciting news! So many of you have kept up with us through this blog, and we are so thankful for your engorgement, prayers, and support. In the meantime, please let us know if there's something that we can be praying about for you as well.

Stranded: June edition

Today, I'm linking up with Mix and Match Mama Blog and A Little Bit of Everything Blog for their STRANDED! series!

For this series, check out the dates and blog about the 3 items you'd take with you if you were stranded on a dessert island!

Here are some links to my older posts: 
April: Medicine Cabinet Items
May- didn't participate

If I were stranded on a dessert island, and had to choose 3 Netflix series to watch, I would choose these: 

ONE

Pretty Little Liars.... I started season one of this show last fall, and let me just tell you that it was the best/worst idea I had all semester. The BEST because I LOVE this show. The worst idea, because it was mid-semester and I spent way too much time watching TV when I should've been studying and/or sleeping during that extra time. I got caught up by January, and I watched the end of season 6 on Hulu as the episodes came out. By the end of season 6, I kinda feel like the writers may have gone too far... they probably should've just stopped halfway through season 6, but because I'm so invested in this show now, I'll probably still watch the new season to see how it all plays out. This show is full of mystery and suspense, but also throws in some major love interests, lots of friendship, and plenty of family drama. If you haven't watched PLL, you should def check it out!!

TWO

GOSSIP GIRL! AHH! As if I didn't learn my lesson fall semester, then this spring once PLL was over, I started in on Gossip Girl. I really loved this show! PLL was good because it was suspenseful, and kept me on my toes, but Gossip Girl is a little more realistic, yet still scandalous. This show is about an extremely wealthy group of teenagers living on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, and all of the scandals and drama that surround them. The relationship issues can be relatable, but the wealth is a huge cause of the drama and the resolutions, and their whole lifestyles are all very frivolous, and I think that's part of what makes it so good! I loved the characters, and I was so sad once it was over, because I wanted to continue knowing what was going on in their lives!


THREE

The third series was so hard for me to choose. GG & PLL were easy because I've recently watched them, and really loved them both! For number 3 I'm going to have to choose ONE TREE HILL. This show brings back SO MANY memories for me, because I watched it during both high school and college, and I really felt like I was growing up with these characters (especially in high school). Their relationship struggles, pain, fear, etc. were all so real for high schoolers. The lack of parents, etc. was definitely not as relatable, but c'mon... its a TV show. If you didn't grow up having a crush on Chad Michael Murray, and yearning for a love as faithful and strong Nathan and Haley, but raw and passionate like Peyton and Lucas, then I'm afraid you missed out majorly! Once I got Netflix a few years ago, this was one of the first series I (re)watched. Still loved it several years after it aired. 



So those are my 3 fav shows that I'd take with me if I were stranded on an island and had access to Netflix. Hart of Dixie was a close runner up, as was Gilmore Girls and Fuller House. 

Friday Favorites- Birthday Edition 2016!!

Hi everyone! It's Friday and I'm linking up with Erika from A Little Bit of Everything Blog, Andrea from Momfessionals Blog, and Narci from Grace and Love Blog to share my favorite things from the week! You can save this graphic and visit their pages to join the link up!

Wednesday of this week was my birthday!! So I'm going to share all of my favorite things I've done to celebrate my birthday this year. 

ONE

My mom and I before the concert! 

My mom and I both had birthdays this week, so we started our celebration last week by going with my aunt, cousin, and my cousin's mother-in-law to the Melissa Ethridge concert! Honestly, I wasn't a huge Melissa Ethridge fan before the show. I knew and liked several of her songs, but I certainly wasn't a die-hard fan. My cousin and I knew that our moms were really big fans, so we decided to go. After the concert, I definitely became a bigger Melissa fan! She is such a talented musician. The concert was in a small, intimate venue, and she played solo. No opener, and no band! She sang AND played every song herself. She had 9 guitars on stage, bongo drums, a tambourine, and a harmonica. She put on a really great show! It's not very often that my mom and I get one on one time together, and we ended up staying up until 4am talking and catching up! It was just a really fun weekend. Spending time with my mom is always a favorite. 

TWO

Churro Cupcakes

So last Saturday my mom and I started our birthday celebrations, and the celebrations just continued into the week. On Sunday when I got home, my mother-in-law made a huge meal to celebrate my birthday. With cinco de mayo being this week, and me being a lover of Mexican food, she made a Mexican-themed meal complete with enchiladas, taco salads (she even had the crispy taco salad shells), queso, salsa, and churro cupcakes. It was all so good! Lee and I ended up taking home a few churro cupcakes, and I snagged a pic of one to share with you guys. I'm pretty sure my mother-in-law found this recipe on pinterest, and these were so moist and good! They are a sweet, cinnamon flavored cake and icing. Mexican food and visits with Lee's family are always a great way to celebrate! So having some time with them for my birthday was a favorite of mine this week. 

THREE

Royal New York Cheesecake Blizzard

On Monday, the celebrations continued! I get promo emails from Dairy Queen, and got a Buy One Get One Free Blizzard coupon, so of course we had to take advantage. So Monday night we got Blizzards from DQ. I don't have any pics from this, so I just borrowed one from the Dairy Queen website. Lee got one of the new Royal Blizzards and I had some of it- it was so good! It had cheesecake, graham cracker crumbs and strawberries in it. I got my usual pick, Oreo, which never disappoints. Ice cream and time with my love was for sure a favorite of mine this week. 

FOUR

I don't have a picture for #4, but on Tuesday this week, I went to the monthly meeting of The Nest. The Nest is a faith-based infertility support group. I have been attending monthly for about a year, and this group has been such a blessing to me! I have found new hope and new friends through this group. Attending the group, hearing the stories of other women and the monthly message has really encouraged me and strengthened  my relationship with Christ. I couldn't be more thankful for Elisha and the other friends I've made through this group, so being able to make it part of my birthday Celebration was definitely a favorite this week for me.  This month we had record attendance! There were a total of 24 women who came together, ate, laughed, prayed, and supported one another. It was so great. 

FIVE

I received this cookie bouquet for my birthday!

Wednesday was my actual birthday, and I started the day with breakfast made by my love. I worked all day and had a final exam that evening. A 2 hour critical thinking/writing exam is not the ideal way to bring in 27, but the good news is that it was my last exam of the semester! I survived another semester of graduate school, and now I'm on summer break. I'll take an online class this summer, and then one class in the fall before I earn my MBA. Finishing school for the semester and being on summer break was one of the top favs of mine for the week... maybe even the whole month! After the exam, Lee met up with me and several of my classmates and we all had a beer to celebrate the semester being over and my birthday! In addition to birthday breakfast and finishing the semester, I was also spoiled on my birthday with breakfast cake and Starbucks when I got to work, and a few of my closer co-workers gifted me with chocolates, bath bombs, a face mask, and a new cup to keep at my desk! My brother and sister-in-law, niece and nephew sent me a cookie bouquet, and my hubby and family spoiled me with a new watch. Talk about feeling loved!!

SIX

Lee and I at a Cardinal's Game several years ago. 

Thursday this week, Lee and I finished up our Mother's Day shopping after work and got ready for the weekend. Tonight we have tickets to the St. Louis Cardinals game and are going with two of our favorite friends! Tomorrow we will spend time with family at the zoo, and round out our Sunday with church and a big lunch to celebrate the mothers in our lives. A weekend packed full of friends, family, and quality time with my husband is by far my most favorite of the week!  The pic above is of Lee and I at a Cardinals game a few years ago. We'll have to get an updated one tonight! 

As you can tell, this whole week was pretty much my favorite! Last year I was pretty bummed when my birthday rolled around. Another year had passed, and we still didn't have a baby. At that time, Lee and I were in the midst of our 5th round of fertility treatments, and we were just feeling really worn down and frankly just sad about not being pregnant yet. This year, our circumstances as far as pregnancy go have not changed, but not having all of the hormone injections definitely allows me to be more positive. This year I had a really great birthday. I felt very loved all week, and I just can't be sad because I have so much right now to be thankful for. God has been so good to us this year, and we know that He has a plan to make us parents at the perfect time. I'm trying to trust in Him, and spend my time enjoying my current blessings. Some days its harder than others, but this week has overflowed with happiness and thankfulness! So happy Friday everyone!! Enjoy Mother's Day and the wonderful women in your lives. :)  For those of you who are not yet mommas, or cannot celebrate with your own mommas, know that I am thinking of you! <3 p="">